My Happy Ending
by Sakura's Pointe Shoes
Summary: Nerys knew she wouldn't have her fairy tale ending. But 2 months after Odo's gone, during an impromptu medical examination with Dr. Bashir, she decides that maybe some kind of 'happy ever after' is worth a shot after all. UPDATED! CH 6 is up!
1. Undiscovered

Title: My Happy Ending

Genre: Romance/Angst

Summary: We all know very well what a strong, formidable woman Kira Nerys is, especially at the end of WYLB. This is Kira centered, very angsty, and lots of Odo/Kira.

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN STAR TREK: DS9. No money is being made, no copyright infringement intended.**

Chapter One: Undiscovered

(Kira POV)

I'm back at the station, 'alive and well,' as everyone keeps putting it. I'm in my quarters, sitting cross legged on my bed. Everyone's still out celebrating the end of the war against the Dominion, out on the holodeck what with all the dancing and singing and well...in a way I'm glad Odo insisted on parting like this. There were so many people offering their congratulations and requests to hear the story as to how I escaped near execution and to be honest, I only remember about one out of every five people who came to shake my hand tonight. Seemed like every god damned person on the station was at that party.

I rub my eyes with the back of my hand in a world-weary manner. Even though we won the fight, I still feel as if I'm losing an entirely different battle.

_Odo..._

I think his name and an image of his smooth, handsome face briefly flashes through my mind, followed by several others in quick succession. Right now, this man is gathering all the odds and ends in his quarters that he wants me to keep, and he should be back any moment. Another reason to not lose my composure now.

Damn. My bottom lip trembles at the prospect of him leaving willingly. Leaving everything he spent the better part of his life building, leaving his friends...and me. A salty tear dribbles down my cheek and rolls over my lips. Damn, damn, damn. Another tear follows, and then another, and another...Great, now I'm sobbing. Small, strangled, god-forsaken sounds ripping past the lump in my throat.

_Prophets, help me._

I hold my knees to my chest, and rock myself back and forth as I did during particularly hard nights during the Occupation, and I wonder if Odo's hurting the way I am. My stomach is flip-flopping around, and my head is spinning, who knew that loving someone could cause such discomfort? I'm still crying, and I've given up on trying to hold it all in.

Because I'd decided to unleash the storm of emotions inside me, I missed the mechanical door chime and then the footsteps that followed.

"Nerys?"

I turned and glanced at the source of the voice, and then stared at the floor. I saw the raw pain in his blue eyes before he moved to put the box of things down on the floor. With a pang I realize that this could in no way be any easier for him than it is for me. Guilt grips my heart and I reinforce my respect for my Changeling lover. Of all the selfish, ungrateful, stupid---

"Nerys, you're crying..." His gravelly, wonderfully masculine voice rumbled through my limp body. I want to kiss him and punch him, in that order. The indentation in the matress tells me that he's now sitting beside me. "I'm not cyring." I say rather tersely, despite my tears.

He takes one of my hands in his cool one. I finally look at him in the eyes, and for a moment I forget about everything else and allow myself to enjoy our proximity. He's close enough for me to lean over and just plant one on him, right over the mouth. His other hand is coming up to caress my cheek, but then he falters, and I smile in what I hope is a reassuring way. My free hand brings his to my damp cheek, and he wipes my tears away. I tense, desire slamming into me from nowhere, and I see it in him too. He leans in to close the distance between our mouths. It starts out beautifully, salty and wet and warm, a kiss that promises so much more.

Good thing we're on my bed already.

As we fall back onto the matress, entwined in each other's arms, I realize that this is the last time I'll ever make love to him.

_I don't want you to leave me..._

He was gone when I woke up. He left nothing but a short note, written on real paper (I wonder where he got it, we all use PADDS on the station). His handwriting is neat and legible. I'm not surprised, he was--is-- a man who craves order and cleanliness in every aspect of his life.

_Dear Nerys,_

_I realize you must be angry with me. I know the look on your face, the way your eyes narrow and your jaw clenches... You're beautiful. If I waited for you to stir, I would never have been able to leave. I need to do this for my people, and for me. I hope you understand. _

_L'hanya ti. _

_Odo_

"L'hanya ti." I whisper the phrase in my native language, clutching the note to my chest. I fall back against the pillows and wonder if he's already gone through the wormhole.

_I love you._

There are no tears.

TBC

A/N: What do you guys think? Should I continue? Anyway, please leave a review.


	2. Pieces of Me

Chapter Two: Pieces of Me

A/N: Ok, here goes...chapter two. R and R!

2 months passed.

It felt like a lifetime.

I got through it somehow, throwing myself into my job as new commander of the station in Ben Sisko's absence. There's so much to be done: paperwork, politics, superiors to be dealt with, maintenance, and the overall welfare of the people on the station...And the fact that I've had the nastiest flu, paired with bouts of unpredictable sneezing for the past week didn't help either. Throughout the day I've had to continuously battle the urge to run to the bathroom and throw up. Naturally this makes me very cranky so everyone at Ops is walking on eggshells around me, so to speak.

As of now, I've taken up permanent residence next to the toilet. Everytime I try and do something without having to worry about the nausea, it comes right back, and I have to sprint to the toilet. I didn't make it once, and I ended up ruining the rug in my living room.

Prophets, I know stress can really make a person go down, but this is just too much! I leaned back against my shower door, temporarily enjoying the reprieve from the sickness. I know I'm probably very dehydrated, since I haven't been able to keep anything down. Food and water are not very appealing to me yet, but if I don't do something soon this could get worse than it already is. Bile rose in the back of my sore throat and I gripped the edges of the toilet as I wretched.

I heard someone calling my name. They stopped in the doorway of the bathroom, and I took the opportunity to look up. It's Ezri, she must have used my emergency lock codes to obtain access into my quarters. She looked like the epitome of a worried friend as she helped me up from the floor.

Turned out that I was two hours late to Ops. Nah, I'd been far too busy emptying my stomach's contents to notice my comm badge.

"Nerys, I think you should see Julian." Before I could have protested, she'd already began dragging me out of my quarters down to the Infirmary.

After running my bloodwork and asking me about my flu, Julian seemed to have formulated a professional opinion. I sat quietly in his office, staring at my fingers and happy that the good doctor had given me something to rid me of the nausea. Julian's gaze was fixed on his tricorder, which he had been repeatedly running up and down my body This has been going on for quite a while. I sighed and contemplated whether or not to tell him to get to the point. Julian ran a hand through his black hair and frowned. What the hell can be wrong with me?

"You say you've been sick?"

I nodded.

"Suffering from dizzy spells? Excessive thirst? Bouts of unexplained sneezing?"

I nodded again, my head bobbing up and down impatiently. Julian stared at me, then his tricorder, then me again. I observed the amazement in his youthful face, again making me wonder what could possibly be wrong with me.

"Julian, am I dying?" His head jerked up and he answered negatively. "Hardly Nerys. But this...this is a genetic miracle! There's no easy way to say this, Colonel,"

Nothing in the universe could have prepared me for what he said next.

"You're pregnant, Kira."

"WHAT?" I stared at him, gobsmacked and completely speechless. Julian continued, smiling at me with what can only be described as excitement. But I haven't been seeing anyone! Much less engaging in acts that could have led to _that_, not since Odo--

"The life form growing in your uterus has a genetic make-up that appears to be very much like Constable Odo's."

Oh, well. That explains that then.

"How can I possibly be pregnant! With _Odo's_ child?" My voice was very small, and my frazzled brain is still fumbling with the fact that I am very much pregnant with a baby of my own, unlike the time I carried the O'Brien's baby to term.

The doctor said slowly as if I was a three year old, "Well, obviously you and Odo had---" I cut him off with a glare and he didn't finish his sentence. "The scientific side of things? The baby's genetic material seems to be primarily its fathers-- Odo-- but I believe that an ovum of yours was fertilized in the process, therefore this baby is just as much yours as it is his. Assuming you'll gestate the normal 5 months for Bajoran women, you appear to be about 6 weeks along. Towards the end of the pregnancy we might even need to transfer the embryo to an artificial environment... "

Julian continued on, but I wasn't listening. My hands absently moved to my slightly fuller abdomen, and I wondered if I had just gotten fatter or if the baby had anything to do with it.

_I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby. _

"...However, since you two are clearly of 2 different species, the chance of your offspring's survival is minimal. We're going to have to monitor this pregnancy very closely. Nothing like this has ever happened before and I want everything to go well for you both--" I smiled, genuinely for the first time in a long time, and stood.

"Julian?"

_I'm gonna have a baby._

He stopped babbling and met my eyes.

"Please don't tell anyone about this? This baby is half changeling, half humanoid. Starfleet Medical will probably want to study this up-close and in detail. I don't want that for me or for the baby."

Julian nodded reassuringly, and I sighed in relief. "You have my word Nerys. You'll have complete doctor/patient confidentiality. Now, I'm going to prescribe you some pre-natal vitamin supplements and I recommend that you take some leave until you have the baby. You're way too stressed to be considered healthy, and I think some vacation time on Bajor will do you both good." I nodded, still beaming, and he went off to fetch me those vitamins.

Who knew the Prophets would bestow such a blessing on me?

He came back into the office and then he handed me a bottle and a matching prescription. I thanked him profusely and promptly vacated his office. I was in the corridor when he called out to me.

"Oh, Nerys!" I stepped back towards him and he whispered, "It's a boy."

I grinned and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll be on Bajor, Doc." He smiled back and said, "I'll beam down twice a month to check up on you, if you ever need anything, let me know."

I hadn't thought of Odo until I walked through the Promenade, briefly stopping by his old office. I've decided I'll be alright. I'm not alone, not anymore.

(Bashir's POV)

I watched as Kira disappeared down the corridor. The news seems to have given her hope, something that I haven't seen in her for a long time. I meant everything I said about doctor/patient confidentiality, but I think that the father of the baby should know about this.

I went back into my office, pondering whether or not I should send a message to Odo behind Nerys's back.

(Kira POV)

I had this giddy sort of feeling all the way to my quarters in the Habitat ring, the continual ache in my heart eased considerably. I didn't know how much I was hurting until it had gone. My hand had never left my stomach, even though I knew that a month was far too early to be feeling anything from the baby. I started packing my bags, looking forward to some downtime on my home planet, all the while trying to come up with baby names. I should probably get Keiko's or Ezri's advice on such matters, after all they've both had children and gone through this many times. I wanted to jump up and down and scream to the entire station that I'm going to be a mother, the urge to just TELL somebody overriding all other thought.

I tapped my commbadge and said, "Kira to Dax."

"Yes, Colonel?"

"Can we have lunch at around 1330? I have some important news, but I have to get somethings done first."

"Sure, Nerys, see you then."

"Kira out."

I grinned, pulling my lips back over my teeth, for what seemed like the millionth time. This boy is going to be loved. I grew up in war-torn Bajor, where everyone around me was too caught up in their own suffering to properly care for their children. I remember that the only toy I ever had was a hand-me-down _beli clavian _from one of my older brothers, only because he hated his music classes and thought that I'd appreciate the instrument better than him. That thing lasted a week before I tossed it in a fit of frustration into the pond next to our house. My father scolded me for days, apparently the clavian was alot more valuable than I believed it to be.

Well, my baby wasn't going to grow up like that. If he wanted anything from a Klingon Targ to even a simple Tribble for a pet, then he'd have one. He'd be allowed to have as many kava rolls as he wanted, and if he wanted to live on Bajor, I wouldn't hesitate giving up my job here on the station.

_Whoah, slow down Nerys, aren't you taking things a bit too far? This baby hasn't even been born! _

I smiled to myself. This child would grow up _loved_, that's all I was trying to say. Damn, and apparently talking to myself has become a habit. I continued folding clothes and piling them neatly into my suitcase.

Another thought entered my mind.

What would I tell my son about his father?

The truth would have been the most preferable option, but somehow "You're father left us for his homeworld" didn't sound like it would go over well, especially to a toddler's young ears. Maybe I should contact Odo. That particular thought sent red flags up in my mind. I don't want to come across as desperate or even worse, make him feel obligated to leave the Great Link. I'm sure that's exactly what he would do, I know how noble a man he is and he'd probably insist on marrying me as well. I don't want that. I owe him that much. Even if I felt my heart breaking all over again.

" Oh, little one...I miss your father."

I stared at my belly as I spoke to the tiny being in there for the very first time.

"So Nerys, what is the "important news" you've been dying to tell me about?" Dax paled visibly at her use of words and hastily added, "It doesn't have anything to do with your checkup with Julian this morning does it?" I chuckled at her disposition and said, "Well, yes, but what I have is hardly fatal, Ezri." I motioned for her to come closer. She leaned forward and I whispered in her ear, "I'm pregnant." I heard her tiny gasp and her blue eyes widened at my admission. "But you haven't been seeing anybody! Unless you haven't told me about something else as well," Her eyes flashed teasingly, but I saw how shock highlighted her features, including her spots.

"It's Odo's."

Her eyes were wider than saucers then. She opened her mouth to say something, but only a quick exhalation of air came out. She tried again but words failed her. She took a deep breath, as I watched her reaction with some amusement, and finally was able to ask a coherent question.

"I know... Tell you the truth, I'm still having trouble believing it myself." Ezri nodded and took a sip of her raktajino. I smiled gently at my close friend, and answered her unspoken question. "Julian says that some of the constable's...genetic material," I blushed with shame as Ezri looked at me more closely with those twinkling blue eyes of hers, "--must have fertilized one of my eggs during..." I trailed off, my cheeks feeling unaturally hot as she relented.

"How far along are you?" Dax lowered her voice, as if Quark was listening and I did the same as I answered. "I'm at six weeks. Julian says that I'll probably gestate like any normal Bajoran woman, so my due date will be in about 5 months. He wants to have frequent checkups, just so that if there's any problems then he can treat them immediately." The Trill woman nodded and turned her head to stare at something on the lower level of the restaraunt. The thought that she had played the role of both mother and father several times in past lifetimes was a tad disconcerting, but I knew that I would probably need her advice later on.

"Wow, Nerys...Congratulations. This must be so..." She was hesitant in completing the sentence, even as she turned her gaze to stare at me once more.

"I know, Ezri. I'm uh, actually thinking of moving to Bajor for the rest of my pregnancy. You know, Julian says all the stress of running the station is dangerous to the baby and everything. I want to birth my son on my home planet, and we'll see how it goes from there." I spoke with warmth in my voice, hoping that Ezri would see that for once in the time that Odo had been gone, I could make a future for myself that didn't involve moping about or plunging into work. I think she did because she broke out in a wide smile that erased about 10 years from her already lively face.

"Sooo...have you picked out a name?"

I let out a laugh at her playful tone and she went on about how she wanted him named after her. I listened with all the excitement of a mother-to-be, hanging on Ezri's every word, as we chattered on as good friends do for the rest of the afternoon.

TBC


	3. A Day Without Rain

Chapter Three: A Day Without Rain

For the Disclaimer, see Chapter One

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates! I've just gone back to school, and man, has it kicked me in the butt, lol. Well, I'm going to try and take advantage of the Labor Day Weekend so uh...maybe I'll get finished with chapter 4 early. In the meantime, enjoy chapter three! (Oh, btw, I want to say thank you to my 2 reviewers, angiew and agapeNuria.) Anyone besides those two, please, please review, I live on feedback!

(About three months later)

Moving to Bajor was probably the best thing I ever did for myself. I bought a rustic cottage in the Dakhur province that was nestled in the middle of rolling hills near a small river. Clusters of Bat'wi trees covered the surrounding land, providing a sanctuary for me and my unborn child. My new home for the next couple of months was more isolated than I liked at first, but now I find that it's just what I need. I think Ezri and Julian were surprised at my decision to take medical leave (especially when it was of my own free will, and nobody forced me).

That was the feisty, spitfire Kira Nerys, the one who would rather beam to the surface of Cardassia Prime than attend a simple finger painting class. Now I doubt if I'll ever pick up a phaser again. It's amazing how impending motherhood awakened such a protectiveness in me. That was the most startling realization of all perhaps, that me, a former Resistance fighter who had been able to fire a weapon since she was thirteen years old, no longer had the courage--nor the desire---to resort to any kind of violence ever again for the sake of my son.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't spend _all_ of my time obsessing over my baby. In fact, I haven't even come up with a name for him yet. Instead, I've found that life on Bajor was restful, and I never really knew how homesick I was until I first arrived. The wind, the way it carried the fragrant scent of the trees and stirred the water that flowed in the river...The beauty of Bajor was not lost on me. I enjoyed the pleasant weather, the way the sun's rays would fall upon the land, and my normally fair skin had turned tan from working in my garden during the afternoon. My hair, which had grown to shoulder length, had lightened considerably from its usual deep auburn to a brighter reddish gold.

Unfortunately, the Bajoran winter season had just began and lately the skies have been nothing but gray and rainy, bringing with it a season of cold and snow.

I also spent my time decorating my house, making frequent trips to the local street marketplace in hopes of bargaining with the Bajoran merchants, and teaching myself to cook the hard way, since I didn't have a replicator in the cottage. I started with easy recipes, the first was learning to sautee Bajoran shrimp, and it baked nicely, along with _mapa_ bread that I had accidentally burned because I let it sit in the oven for too long. It was a fun pastime, especially since I craved a lot of the foods I taught myself to prepare.

Today, I had succeeded in making a plate full of _hasperat_, for my dinner guests. I knew Ezri had a peculiar liking for any kind of the spicy Bajoran dish, but Julian had yet to conquer even a mouthful of it. I grinned, remembering the first time he tried hasperat. His face must have turned at least ten different colors when he tasted it, and it was a good ten seconds before he coaxed himself to swallow it. Maybe he's built up an acquired taste for it since then, because he was the one who requested that I made some for dinner tonight. They've been so good to me, Ezri visited regularly as she promised and Julian made it his business to check up on me and the baby twice a month.

I finished setting the table when I heard the knock on my front door.

_That must be them._ I put down the utensils and hurried to answer it. I pulled the heavy wooden door open and found a rain soaked Trill and doctor. "Come in you two, Prophets you're drenched!" I said, the perfect hostess, as I ushered them inside. Ezri was laughing while Julian looked less than amused. "It seems that Julian here had forgotten how bad Bajoran monsoon season could be. We beamed to the surface with no protection and we ended up running as fast as our legs could carry us in a mad race until we made it under the roof of your cottage," Ezri said while removing her shoes and ruffling her wet, short black hair. "Of course, I won." Julian mock-glared at her and also proceeded in removing his muddy shoes. I chuckled at their story and went to fetch them some clean towels to help them dry off.

"Well, Nerys, you've done a smashing job of fixing the place up. It's so cozy, and the view of the river must be beautiful," Ezri said at dinner, whilst gazing out the huge glass window in my breakfast nook. The rain pitter pattered mercilessly against the window and lightning could be seen flashing in the distance. Each room had been painted a different color, the breakfast nook's walls were painted a rich, amber brown and the furniture was made of bronzed iron. The candles, curtains and overall decor gave the room a welcoming warmth which I was what I had attempted to create in the first place. A rueful smile tilted the corners of my mouth up. Maybe I found this room particularly appealing was because it reminded me of Odo.

"Thanks. Maybe I'll become an interior designer, or a chef in the capital." I meant it as a joke, but both of my companions stared at me with serious looks on their faces. "Are you planning on resigning?" Julian asked. I looked down at my plate and pushed some food around with my fork, the question posed itself in my mind and at the moment I really didn't know which was the way to go. I looked back up at him and shrugged. "I was planning on waiting til I had the baby. A space station isn't exactly where I pictured raising children. And the provisional government can always find another liason officer."

"But you love your job, Kira! You don't have to give it up to raise a child. Keiko and Miles did it!" Ezri exclaimed.

I couldn't help but retort, "Yeah, well, the job can't love you back." Silence settled in the air as we all went back to our food. Julian had indeed acquired a taste for hasperat, he was now able to eat it without gagging. I mentally shook my head and apologized to the both of them.

"I'm sorry you two, you've been so helpful and understanding...It's just...I've been locked up here alone for a while, and I know I'm not the most sociable of people. My temper is worse than ever, especially with all these hormones floating around." Ezri met my eyes and squinted like she always did when she came up with an idea.

"It's alright, Nerys. I know what, how about I stay down here with you for the next couple of days? That way you'll have me to talk to and I need the time off anyway. It'll be fun."

I smiled and thanked the Prophets that I had such wonderful friends. I nodded and graciously accepted. "That'd be great Ezri. I was getting sick of the silence anyway. It doesn't look like you can beam off the surface just yet with this storm raging on like that. Both of you could stay for the night, I have room."

Both of my guests offered their thanks profusely and we finished our meal. I polished off everything on my plate with gusto. If anything, this baby has helped me to eat healthier. I moved a hand to my round stomach and wondered if the baby could feel it. Julian must have noticed the look that came over my face because he asked if I was ok. "I'm fine," I murmured, suddenly feeling a startling sensation deep in my womb. I made a noise and in an instant, Julian had turned into the skilled doctor that he was and rushed to my side, whipping out his tricorder in time. He scanned my stomach and I laughed with delight, now with both hands on my stomach.

"He's _kicking!_" I gasped. Julian was smiling too, as he explained his readings. Ezri looked on, clutching her chest in fright. "Good lord, Nerys you scared me!" I laughed again and smiled down at my belly.

" It seems that the baby is now developed enough to attempt minor transformations in the womb. He seems to have taken the shape of a four month old humanoid baby!" Julian said, punching buttons on his tricorder that was aimed at my midsection. A frown bent his brow and he clucked under his breath, he was now kneeling down to better examine my abdomen. "Somehow the baby knows that in order for you to have a normal birth, it's going to have to keep the form of a solid fetus." I listened and marveled at the intelligence of the little being within me. "Well, I just hope he doesn't attempt to turn into a Terran elephant while he's in there!" I joked, earning laughs from both Ezri and Julian.

"Judging from the new size and shape of the baby, I think that your due date has been accelerated considerably. Of course, he won't be able to retain his new shape for very long so he'll still need a lot of regeneration time but assuming he reverts back into a solid baby, it's very possible that your body will prepare to give birth sooner than we expected." This news made me somewhat anxious. What if I went into labor tomorrow? The idea of actually having the baby didn't scare me, not until now anyway. After all, I've done this before with Kirayoshi O'Brien. But this was a Changeling baby. What if he decided to transform in the middle of the birth? That thought made me shudder.

"Of course, it's also possible that you might give birth towards your original due date. But with this new variable, it's impossible to tell for sure." Ezri might as well have been Betazoid, because she patted my hand reassuringly. "Remember Nerys, I'll be here for you so if anything happens you won't be alone." I nodded gratefully and sat back in my chair, trying to digest this new information.

Julian closed his tricorder and straightened. "Now, Colonel, would you mind directing me to the bathroom? I think I had a bit too much synthenol." There was more laughter as I pointed across the kitchen and into the softly lit hallway. "It's the door on the right."

"Thank you..."The doctor disappeared into the small room, the door clicking shut behind his back. I turned back to my Trill companion. She seemed lost in her thoughts, as she swirled her raktajino around in her mug with a spoon. I heard her suck in a tiny breath, like she had something to say, but she let it out quickly and sipped some of her drink.

I scooted my chair back and stood, stretching my shoulders. So far this was an easy pregnancy, because of the baby's liquid form I hadn't gotten very heavy. I haven't experienced any kind of backaches or edema, but now that my son was learning to take on different forms, maybe I had spoken too soon. I gathered everyone's soiled utensils and piled all the dishes on top of each other, effectively clearing the table except for the glasses. I moved to put them in the sink, and that's when Ezri spoke.

"I talked to Odo." She sounded hesitant and maybe a little nervous. She knew me well, I can't deny that, so she knew that my temper was a force to be reckoned with.

I froze in place, my hand about to turn the water faucet on. I gritted my teeth at the sound of the name as unbidden emotions and memories sprang to life, like someone had taken a key and unlocked an old, long-hidden chest full of them."You what?" My voice came out very small, as if I was afraid to know the answer. Prophets know, I sure was.

"I didn't tell him about the baby." That gave me a little relief, my shoulders untensed a little and Ezri met my gaze. "He stopped by the station two days ago. Apparently he's been made something of an Ambassador of his people to the Federation, and the Dominion is hoping to establish a friendly relationship with the Federation and Starfleet. He said that he was on his way to Earth with a few other Founders for an assembly with other government officials."

"Did he ask about me?" I dared to ask, feeling somewhat selfish as usual when it came to Odo. "Not in so many words, but he did seem disappointed that you weren't on the station. That's why I suggested for him to send you a subspace message but he claimed that he was too busy and he had a tight itinerary." I couldn't help the stab of hurt in my gut after hearing that. The baby must have felt it too, because it kicked powerfully against my belly.

"You shouldn't have said anything-" My face must have expressed my sadness because when Julian came back into the room, he obviously sensed the change of mood.

"What have I missed?"

"Nothing," I said dismissively. I forced a smile as Ezri rose from her seat. I showed them upstairs where they would be staying without another word. They both flushed with embarrassment when I put them in one room, after all, it was common knowledge that the two were involved. I smiled as they shut the door, and went back downstairs to continue cleaning up dinner, wearily plodding down the sturdy wooden stairs. My body wasn't reacting very well to the new weight of the baby that pressed against my back, since I was out of breath by the time I reached the bottom.

A deafening roar of thunder struck outside and the rain continued with its rhythmic dance against the windows. I took my time in washing the dishes. Like cooking, this wasn't something one got to do often especially since I lived on a space station most of the time. The water had caused my hands to wrinkle after a while, a strange sensation in my fingers. I dried the dishes with a towel and put them back into their respective cupboards.

I shook my head to myself. It was so simple. Why couldn't I just tell him? I could just catch a shuttlecraft to Earth and find him in San Francisco. I knew I had the courage to do what he didn't bother to. I frowned. How did I even know if he was afraid of contacting me? After all this time, would he be uncomfortable being with me now that he had a child on me? How did I know if Ezri had told me the truth, what if she told him I was pregnant and the reason he didn't send a message was because he didn't want anything to do with it? All the possiblities of what could have happened swam through my head and I got so dizzy that I had to grab onto the countertop to steady myself.

The baby kicked and did what felt like a flip flop in my womb. My attention instantly went to my son.

"I know, I haven't given you a name yet...You're probably angry at me. I've been trying to come up with something suitable but nothing seems to fit! Maybe your father would have known a good one..." The baby stilled, thankfully, and I carried on drying plates and utensils.

_E'tienta pagh. You are my soul. Whenever will you let me heal?_

I finished with the tidying up and began going around to blow out all the candles and shut off the lights. A chill had settled in the house, and I realized that I should probably turn on the heater. The rain thudded on and on, and I took comfort in the sound as I prepared for bed.

Dressed in a nightgown, I slipped in between the layers of sheets in my bed. I scooted slowly to the middle of the mattress, a habit that had come from trying not to imagine Odo next to me. If I slept in the middle, there would be no room for anybody else, and my dreams wouldn't be as realistic. My head rested on a firm pillow and I shut my eyes. Sleep came easily, quieting my mind, as the drumming of the rain slowly faded away to nothing.

TBC


	4. Reon

**A/N: For the disclaimer, see chapter one. Also, this is a major point that I forgot to mention in the first chapter, but from this chappy on, this fic will be written against the backdrop of the ST:DS9 relaunch novel, "Unity." IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE SPOILED FOR "UNITY" DON'T READ MY FIC OR THE SYNOPSIS BELOW. Otherwise, please R and R!**

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Ok, "Unity" is basically a continuation of the DS9 episode "What You Leave Behind." It takes place approximately 8-9 months after the end of the Dominion War (The previous chapters when Kira takes time off to live on Bajor during her pregnancy were meant to have taken place during 4 of those eight/nine months.)

(BTW, this is all coming off the back of the book)

In the meantime, Bajor is petitioning to join the Federation and First Minister Shakaar Edon is assassinated, sending the planet and Deep Space Nine into chaos. Investigation into Shakaar's murder revealed the presence of a parasitic conspiracy that threatens the survival of the Federation, and the planets Bajor and Trill. At the same time this is all happening, the fracturing of Bajor's theology has put the Bajoran people on the threshold of a startling transformation, and these consequences rest on the shoulders of Colonel Kira, who defied religious authority by making public an ancient heretical text that challenges the very foundation of Bajoran faith. For this, Kira is "attainted" or cast out of the Bajoran religion, by the Vedek Assembly. She's not allowed to wear her clan earring or attend any kind of service.

Odo, on the other hand, is on his homeplanet, where he encounters resistance from the Link towards his knowledge and insights of "solids." He believes that the Vorta and Jem'Hadar have potential for other things that don't involve killing, and attempts to convince them that the Jem'Hadar have potential outside of the Dominion.

Special Notes:

In the Dominion, Odo sends a Jem'Hadar Elder named Taran'atar to observe life on DS9, and to obey Kira Nerys, until he calls him home.

Ro Laren (from ST: TNG) is assigned chief of Station Security.

The former Kai, Opaka Sulan is found in the Gamma Quadrant and brought back to the station along with Jake Sisko (who ran away to find his father) on a freight ship called the Even Odds. They make their way home with a female Trelian named Wex, whose mysterious nature raises suspicion on Deep Space Nine...

I won't go on, but before you read this fic, I implore you to go out and buy "Unity", it's only $7 here in the US, and if you're a desperate Odo/Kira shipper, it will do your heart some good. Anyway, here's the actual chapter, enjoy!

Chapter 4:

My leave is slowly coming to an end, and my baby hasn't been born.

Ezri didn't get to stay for longer than 2 days. She got called away by Starfleet's Admiral William Ross and was assigned on the Defiant to go on a mission in the Gamma Quadrant. She didn't get to tell me what was going on up there since it was classified but instictively I knew it had to do with the Dominion. When I saw her last, it was through a screen and she looked so _tired._ She told me that I looked good, but I think she was just trying to tell me I look good fat. I actually have gotten considerably larger in a short period of time, my face rounder and jaw softer, and my belly protruding outwardly like a mountain. Ah well, I don't really mind the weight gain, I know I'll work it off eventually.

What concerns me is the lateness of my baby. He was due a week ago, but when Julian came to check on me yesterday, everything was supposedly fine. He's staying over now too, until the baby finally comes.

I have about one and a half more weeks before I have to report back to the station, and I still have no idea what I'm going to do about my son. I'd probably end up hiring someone to care for him here, I don't want to take him up to Deep Space Nine. When I get back, I'm supposed to meet with Admiral Ross for a classified briefing. All I was told was that there was some kind of attack on the station from the Dominion by renegade Jem'Hadar who brought ships to confront DS9 and spark a new war. Before their ships were vaporized, several of the Jem'Hadar beamed onto the station. Luckily, they were eliminated by the Jem'Hadar Odo sent before they could do any real damage.

The news disturbed me. It's been six months and already there's been an attack. I wondered if I should be feeling guilty that I wasn't there as a Commander, or glad that my baby or myself were safe out of harm's way.

Julian's clear voice cut through my reverie.

"Nerys, what do you want for lunch?"

I almost laugh at the lightness of the question compared to my previous line of thought.

"Oooh, definitely larish pie. Can we go down to the village this afternoon? It's stopped raining and it's quite a lovely day even if it's a bit chilly." The doctor nodded and grinned. "Make sure you bundle up though, it looks like it might snow." Outside, everything had seemed to still, and the quiet made me want to get out and go somewhere where there was noise. I stood from my sofa with little difficulty, even though Julian was at my side in an instant, and went to fetch a coat and scarf from the little closet beneath the stairs. I handed him his coat and we wrapped ourselves up in layers of clothing.When I got a chance to look at him, I laughed heartily. Julian looked like an overcooked "marshmallow," a delicious Earth delicacy I had tried under his recommendation.

We left the cottage soon enough and slowly walked down the icy path that led from my house through the hills and trees to the little town at the bottom. We were arm in arm the whole time, and a brief surge of appreciation warmed my fingers and toes. I didn't expect Julian to keep me company, but I was still glad that I didn't have to be alone during this last month. The Infirmary was busy, or so he told me, yet he insisted that it was no trouble at all. I looked at his tanned face and blue eyes, felt the way he held me, and though we were two different species, he reminded me of my older brothers who were gone. I wondered if they would have been as loyal to me now, as protective.

I sighed, watching how my breath appeared in the mist. Before I knew it, snow was falling in delicate drops from the white sky.

The little village was rustic and beautiful. Snow had quickly piled on top of the wooden roofs of the buildings, giving everything an ivory, ethereal glow. Children's laughter could be heard in the distance, even though we didn't see any of them, and smells from the local restaurants made my stomach grumble, others made it lurch. Everyonce in a while, passing people would smile at me and utter "may you both walk with the Prophets." I smiled gratefully back at all of them, but a tiny, defensive part of me was wondering, "Do I really look that _fat?"_

Julian did some asking around and eventually we got a seat at a cozy sidewalk shop, part eatery. Our table was right by the window, framing the cobblestone sidewalk and passersby. We didn't speak to each other, both of us focused on enjoying the warmth and ambience of the place, and just then our waiter had come to take our orders.

She was a slight, young woman, with crystal clear blue eyes and six ridges on her Bajoran nose. I noticed how Julian scanned her frame and then looked away, probably deciding that she was no Ezri. I grinned secretly, and then told her that I wanted larvish pie with a raktajino, and two cubes of kava. Julian requested shrimp and some synthale, and the young waiter gave him a quick smile before dashing off to place our orders.

"So how was the station before you left? I remember you said the Infirmary was busy, but how is everything else? How's the new commander?" I could have gone on, but he seemed to understand my curiosity.

"Well, Commander Vaughn is more than capable of filling the role I suppose. But he's not you, and it feels odd to have a 200 year old looking human as your commanding officer. Alot of us are waiting until you get back," He chuckled, "Besides, Vaughn is scheduled to lead a mission into the Gamma Quadrant to meet up with the team that's already there. Their main goal is to chart that space, just as long as they don't violate Dominion territory."

I nodded, wondering of Odo's progress with his people. Prophets I missed him. I missed him and I wanted him back right then and there. But perhaps those were just the desperate wishes of a silly, pregnant woman. Then the familiar numbing spread inside me, under my ribs and over my lungs, gripping my heart so it had to struggle to beat...

"OAAH!"

There was another pain, but this one was not in my heart, it was in my stomach.

"Julian, I--I think my water just broke!"

He lunged out of the booth and whipped out his 'handy dandy' tricorder. His nimble fingers were flying over the buttons and I watched helplessly as I tried to stifle the urge to scream.

"Good god, you're dilated at five centimeters! We've got to get you home, Nerys--" He helped me stand (which was a huge achievement from my point of view) and we hobbled out of the restaraunt, people politely getting out of our way, and someone was nice enough to hail a cabbie for us. A lean, muscular cabbie driver pulled his cart up to the road and while Julian stared at the little rickshaw cabbie doubtfully, I proceeded with getting in and sitting down. The sooner I got home, the safer.

"Dammit, just get in!"

Julian held my quaking hand as my insides seemed to run around in fear, these contractions were not hurting right. I cringed as the cab bounced, running over rough ground, and Julian began to coach me with breathing techniques I remembered from when I delivered Kirayoshi. This time, there was no Bajoran midwife, no incense, no banging of triangles and DEFINITELY no Shakaar. It was just me, Bashir and the driver, in a shabby cart, in some 'in the middle of nowhere' village.

Nothing was helping. The cabbie had made it to the northern border of the village and was halfway up the hill to the cottage. Unfortunately since we were going uphill, the man's speed on foot was hindered and our progress was delayed. Julian urged the man to run as fast as he could, my grip on his poor hand tightening, and I felt a wetness running down the side of my leg.

"Julian, this doesn't feel right! It _hurts!_" Just then another contraction ripped through my bottom half, and the pressure in my uterus moved further down. This was all happening too fast... I sensed the baby shifting half inside me, partially out, and screamed. If he did this for much longer, things could get very, very difficult.

I could see the cottage on the top of the hill, beyond the trees and sudden relief flooded my mind. At least the baby would have his artificial environment.

It was a few minutes more and then we were home, Julian quickly paid the driver with latinum and I was rushed into the house. He lay me back on the bed in the guest room on the second floor, where all his equipment was ready, and said, "Alright Nerys, we're here. Anytime you're ready." I barked out a harsh laugh and a bead of sweat broke on my forehead.

"I've just spent the past hour trying to hold this sucker in, you think I can just start pushing any time!"

Julian didn't recoil to my disappointment, he just went about undressing my lower half, and then placed his hands on my knees and parted my legs. I leaned back on my elbows and watched his eyes, they flashed with surprise.

"Your son looks like a normal, humanoid baby...The reason why you're experiencing such abnormal pain for a Bajoran birth could be because this baby is in a fully solid form!" I gritted my teeth and bit my bottom lip, the next contraction came and the impulse to push as hard as I could bombarded me with its power.

"JULIAAAAAAAAAN!"

"Nerys, I have the head! After the shoulders, this should take no time at all..."

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_"No time at all", my ASS._

Ten, long hours. Ten hours of screaming and pounding on the bed. One more hour, and I was sure I'd die. The normal Bajoran birth was painless and relaxing and full of endorphins, why the hell was I feeling so much damned pain? Julian had given me a hypospray of something good, it eliminated the discomfort in my lower back and became numb, but it still felt as though the baby was trying to bulldoze through from between my legs.

My breathing was rough and aggravated, the contractions getting slowly faster and faster compared to the last 2 hours, and the pressure between my legs was moving down again. Julian was still sitting in front of me, ever the dutiful doctor, and even he looked haggard and tense.

"Ok, Colonel, one BIG push and this might be over. one...two...three! _PUSH!" _ I groaned, a grumbling, loud noise from the back of my throat as I heaved, and then pushed the hardest I've ever done in all of my life. One, no two seconds and I felt my son's body slip free of my own.

A rush of air escaped my lungs and I looked up and saw Dr. Julian Bashir holding in his arms a bloodied, but healthy looking baby boy. The doctor snipped the umblilical cord, a tradition for the father of the baby to do, but since he wasn't present, Julian took it upon himself to do the honors. He immediately wrapped my son in clean blankets and then promptly handed him to me, into my outstretched arms. The baby was crying, wailing with displeasure at the doctor.

"Awake, child, we await you with love and welcome you into the world." Julian proclaimed happily, surprising me with his knowledge of Bajoran birthing customs.

My eyes roamed over the tiny baby, MY tiny baby, and he quieted, looking at me with inquisitive, blue eyes. I laughed and tickled his ridged Bajoran nose, and he giggled quietly, the sound precious music to my ears. His odd, featureless hands were small and delicate, and I kissed each one, head over heels in love with my little baby. Julian allowed me a moment before I had to hand my son back to him, so that I could slump back into the cushions. Exhaustion settled in my limbs and sleep threatened to overtake me, but I made myself stay awake to watch Julian with my baby boy.

At that moment, I watched with alarm as my boy suddenly began to glow a warm gold and then partially shifted so that his body emanated light, but his form stayed the same. Julian watched in puzzlement and then stroked my baby gently with his pointer finger. He said, "Your son's not full Changeling. Perhaps that's why he can't fully regenerate now that he has a fully solid skeletal system. He held my son in one arm and manipulated his tricorder with the other.

"He also has partially developed digestive, respiratory, lymphatic, nervous, endocrine and muscular systems! Of course, he'll still need to be handled carefully since his growth will progress like a humanoid infant. Let me clean him up and he'll be back in your arms before you know it."

I waited anxiously as he disappeared with Reon into the hall and down to the bathroom, a strong, maternal sense of distrust gripping my mind, far stronger than I had to relinquish Kirayoshi to his real parents. I clucked at myself, remembering that it was only Julian and he of all people was someone I could trust.

It was a few moments more and I saw the pair of them come back into the room, and Julian wordlessly settled Reon in my arms. The tiny boy had stopped glowing and appeared very much humanoid, with flushed pink skin and a little tuft of brown hair on his crown. He opened his eyes and I gasped, I swore I saw Odo in Reon when he looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Julian smiled and asked, "Do you have a name for him?"

I nodded and tickled the infant's stomach.

"I'll call him Kira Reon, after my brother."

I cradled Reon, absently thinking of his father, wondering when the Prophets would guide him back to us. He may have been full Changeling in breeding, but dammit, as far as I was concerned, Odo was _Bajoran. _He had a family now, on Bajor, and he didn't even know it.

_Who's fault is that, Nerys?_

I thought bitterly, angry with myself for being a spineless coward and Odo for leaving like he had, only leaving a note behind.

Sighing, I thanked Julian profusely for helping me with my delivery. He grinned and squeezed my shoulder. "After what you've just gone through, I'm pretty sure that you're tired. If you don't mind, I'd like to study Reon's physiology and anatomy, so that I can document it for the future. In the meantime, I recommend you get some sleep."

I agreed, albeit reluctantly. Suddenly, Reon gave a wail as his small hands waved around in the air, swatting my chest in the process. Looking down, I was startled to find two wet spots on my tunic shirt. I glanced up with wide eyes at Julian and he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm lactating? You think Reon needs to eat?" I rearranged my blouse so that Reon could easily access the flow of milk, as Julian watched with some fascination. I wasn't very modest, he had plain view of my breast, but Reon began to suckle and I stopped short.

"Do you feel any pain?"

I nodded. "Nothing compared to before, only a little."

When the hungry baby was sated, he released me and promptly fell asleep, the perfect little angel. I gave him to Julian willingly, and he cooed silly baby words to Reon, who returned with hearty gurgles of laughter. I leaned back once more on the bed, the last image I saw before my eyelids fell shut was Dr. Julian Bashir, weary but still handsome looking, holding my newborn son.

I held in a sob. Odo should have been here to watch his son come into the world. He should have been here, oh Prophets, he missed it, and Reon would grow up without a father... Sleep blindsided me and left my mind blissfully blank for the next several hours.

TBC

A/N: OMG, I hate this chapter. seriously, I hope I did the birth justice, please R and R!


	5. Through the Dark

**Chapter Five:** Through the Dark

**Summary:** Like I said, from now on, this fic will be played out against the backdrop of "Unity." If you don't want to be spoiled, simply hit "back" on your computer screen and read the book first. For the rest of you, here's the next chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except for the character of Reon. Don't sue, please.

* * *

"Maammaa..." Reon's attempt to say the word was utterly endearing to watch. I smiled widely, feeling lighter and more content, as I scooped him up into my arms. We were sitting on the field outside the cottage, Reon playing with some wooden toys I managed to find in town while I lay out in the afternoon sun. It was my last full day with him before I had to report back at the station. Julian believes that it's much too early for me to be separated from Reon, but this is out of my hands. I hear the tension is building up among the higher ups, as the newfound peace with the Dominion wavers. Julian also mentioned something about the Trill, they need the Federation's help with a problem on the homeworld.

A few birds chirped playfully overhead, and I pointed to them, Reon had began to wave his small hands around excitedly. He turned to me, little face alight with joy. "Cheep, cheep! Cheep!" He pointed at the birds, but they disappeared up and over a grove of trees.

I planted a gentle kiss on his head. Reon was only eleven days old, but he had began to observe things around him, already demonstrating a keen intellect. As for his body, Julian concluded that Reon had fully working senses and body systems like a humanoid baby. His tissues could react to stimuli very quickly, so if need be, Reon would be able to use shape-shifting abilities to a certain extent. He wouldn't be able to fully morph, but he'd still be able to stretch, bend, and contort himself into the necessary shape.

"That's wonderful, Reon. But the birds are tired, and they're going home." I paused as he grasped one of my hands in his own small ones. "Even the sun's going to sleep," I whispered to him, pointing to it as it slowly progressed lower. Reon made no reply, and without any objection, I lifted him up and carried him back to the cottage.

* * *

"Now, what do you want to eat..." I muttered while rummaging through my kitchen cupboards. Feeding Reon had become an increasingly difficult task as the days passed. He grew tired of breast milk, as I found out when he pitched a fit last time I tried to feed him that way. My body hadn't stopped milk production though, which was a hassle because I had to keep myself constantly padded.

Julian recommended different flavors of baby food, and so far Reon had taken a strong liking to the banana and strawberry flavor. I stared at the pile of cans I arranged in the cupboard, and randomly picked out a beef and carrot flavored can. Reon merely sat in his high chair, trying to fit his entire fist into his mouth. I chuckled at the sight, a line of drool had escaped onto his bib, so I went to wipe his chin and clean him up.

"Baby, don't do that..." I said, my tone scolding yet affectionate. Of course, he couldn't fully comprehend what I meant, so he just gurgled and banged his hands on the table. I reached back for the can of beef and carrots, opened it, and poured it into a bowl. I dragged a chair close to Reon, armed with a spoon and ready for battle.

"Here we go. Say 'ah,' sweetie..." I waved the spoon around in the air, trying to make it look more attractive than it seemed. "It's a starship, coming around the planet, it's almost here---say 'ahhhhh'!" My feigned excitement did nothing to impress this baby. He yawned-- he actually yawned!-- and stared at me.

I hmphed, and returned his stare. This was going to take a while.

* * *

Several hours later, my boy was fast asleep. I have a feeling that his sleeping cycles are more of a "regeneration" period because was such a light sleeper. So far, Reon hasn't used his changeling abilities very much. The most he ever did was when he couldn't reach one of his toys on top of the dinner table. He extended his hand and retrieved the toy himself, a completely harmless deed, but that didn't stop me from worrying. 

I was sat comfortably beside his wooden crib, feet tucked under me, as I wondered what the Prophets had in store for me next. Having a child was nowhere near the top of my life's list of priorities, I've been a fighter for so long that the idea of being a mother seems to contradict everything I made myself into. None of it felt real enough, I couldn't quite believe the situation yet.

I sighed, leaning back into the chair. Tomorrow I'm scheduled to be back on the station at 1200 hours, due to take on the title of station commander again but this time as a Starfleet captain. I was to immediately join the U.S.S. Gryphon to help track down Shakaar's assassin.

I have contacted a local nanny to care for Reon when I'm gone. Prophets, it's impossible not to get teary when looking at him. He's got a dusting of hair as red as mine, and eyes that he clearly inherited from Odo. He's got my ridged nose, and the cutest chin... I vowed that I'd come back to him whenever I had a second to spare. I know I've got weeks of vacation time, but I believe that requesting more leave would only complicate matters further for Starfleet as well as the Bajoran government.

I leaned over to plant a kiss on Reon's cheek. After taking one last adoring gaze at him, I began to doze off. Before I fell asleep, I distinctly heard "L'hanya ti..." Hearing him say he loved me warmed me to the core, and my reluctance towards leaving him filled me entirely.

_'Another burden for me to bear,'_ I thought to myself idly as I gazed out the window to the night sky, thinking of my imminent return to the station.

**TBC...**

**A/N: Please review! **


	6. Eyes Wide Open

**Chapter Six:** Eyes Wide Open

**Summary:** Kira is back on DS9, and has been fighting an army of insect-like parasites. Everyone is tense and fearful on the station, morale is slowly descending as time wears on. How will Kira end this plague?

(Disclaimer from Ch. 1 still applies)

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long. To my reviewer who asked if I'm in a country with no computers to use, I reply: no I live in California, where I am required by the state to go to school. Therefore, I am unfortunately subject to massive amounts of homework for my AP classes, especially in English, where I am inspired to even write this fic. People like you are the ones whose reviews put me off of writing. I'm amazed I even finished this chapter.

Anyway, to the rest of my nice reviewers, the fic picks up from here...enjoy!

* * *

_(Two months later)_

I was lying down on a reclining chair in my quarters when I was startled out of my nap. My eyes burned with the sensation of a dream that you can't quite remember, but is terrifying all the same.

It all came rushing back to me then, the horror of the parasites sent chills down my spine and made me breathe slightly faster. They could be anywhere, inside anyone, they could just take you over without you even knowing it... I covered myself with my arms, suddenly cold with fear. The silence was too scary, I felt an overwhelming need to surround myself with people, anybody, as long as I wasn't alone.

If I were to die on this station, I'd rather not know it before it happened.

I stood, feeling the urge to move, and went to my replicator for some ratkajino. It appeared instantly as I knew it would, but then I'd gone off the thought of drinking it because of my irrational yet powerful paranoia that there could be a parasite in it. I wrinkled my face in disgust as I set the mug aside and put it on the side table next to my chair.

My thoughts turned onto the mysterious Jem'Hadar named Taran'atar that Odo sent to Deep Space Nine to observe our customs. I know that was Odo's primary mission was to convince the Great Link that solids were not enemies with them, and to teach them our ways, but that didn't curb my temper or frustration when I learned that Odo had sent a substitute rather than himself back to the station.

I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I needed to know that what we had wasn't lost forever, and more importantly I needed to tell him about Reon. How would he react? In almost all of the scenarios I imagined, Odo had closed down his emotions and withdrawn deeper into the shell it took so long to coax him out of.

Oh, and Reon...I missed him so much I'd often get teary eyed, and I'd end up having to fake a severe case of allergies just to make it through the day without drawing suspicion or any further attention to myself. I was already labeled as... oh, how did those ensigns on the Promenade put it? They called me an obsessive bitch of a station Commander. Yeah, that was it. Hell, it might as well have been stamped on my forehead.

Well I'm really damn sorry that I'm not a good commander.

And I'm especially damned sorry that I'm not Ben Sisko.

On top of that, it was a pain in the ass that Ezri and Julian were away on the _Defiant_ trying to tie some loose ends with Commander Elias Vaughn along with a new crew whose names I couldn't quite recall. They were somewhere in the Gamma Quadrant, once again charting previously unknown space with the permission of the Founders. Because of both of their absences, I had no one to talk to about my boy. It was almost as if he didn't exist, I couldn't even mention that I had a child, a baby on the planet's surface, one that I constantly worried about especially now with this parasidic plague in our midst.

The man taking care of Reon was a vedek. His name was Oram, a very kind, natural man with no ulterior motives or inhibitions. He and the other vedeks at the Kendra Valley monastery were more than happy to care for him. I haven't contacted the monastery since I left, and I find that I have this fear that when I go back, Reon will be all grown up, and not in need of a mother anymore.

My shift was to begin in a few minutes. I looked down at myself and straightened out my uniform. Time to put on my face, a false front so that at least the people under me wouldn't be as afraid as I was inside.

* * *

Everything was happening so fast, a ruthless current of unyielding events, twisting, turning, whizzing past me, I struggled to keep up. I barked commands with a steady voice and what I hoped was a determined yet calm expression, in an attempt to reassure my people. They obeyed without questioning, which encouraged me, reminded me that I was not alone in my fear. 

We discovered that one of our own, Tigart Hedda, was taken over by a parasite. T'Pau, one of our Vulcan doctors who assisted Julian, was able to beam the parasite out of Tigart using our transport technology. It was a sick thing, watching the girl die because the parasite had effectively tainted her nervous system as well as the symbiont she carried since she was a Trill. We were able to save the symbiont by removing the parasite, but by then it was far too late for her. T'Pau said we spared her an otherwise painful death by making it quick, in her ever so tactful Vulcan manner.

The parasite was contained in a stasis chamber, frozen in a clear field of static energy. It was rather small, the size of my hand, with a mottling of orange and brown color all over it. It had a tiny sliver of blue on its sharp tail, six short legs, a compact body, and large pincers on its head.

According to T'Pau, it had no eyes or mouth, also that it was able to absorb blood through the pores on its exoskeleton. This soldier parasite was close to maturation, which meant it would be directly linked to its Queen. It was understood that it was critical we talk through to it, tell the Queen to stop her attack on Bajor.

The only way to achieve this however, was to re-implant the parasite into a humanoid body, or we'd have no hopes of understanding it. This was announced to the crew, while I was very uncomfortable with the fact that it sounded as if we were asking for volunteers.

Much to our horrible surprise, a young Ensign from Earth volunteered to have the procedure done to him. He was a young man, in his prime, named Ryker McClain. I was so ashamed, told him that he didn't have to do it, it wasn't worth it.

"Oh but it is, Colonel. If this means the salvation of the galaxy, hell, I'll do it!" He exclaimed. His steely eyes were fierce and unafraid. I marveled at his courage, and my shoulders slumped with guilt.

Before he entered the stasis chamber, Ryker took my hand and patted it gently. He said, "Don't worry Colonel. Everything will be alright." I fought to keep from crying as I watched him walk away.

He went bravely to the chamber. I promised him that we would remove the parasite as soon as we had the information we wanted, he would be back to normal once it was over. T'Pau counted down to one and next thing I knew, the parasite materialized into thin air and Ryker was not Ryker anymore.

He opened his eyes, once clear and steady, now dark and muddy, full of hatred and spite.

"I placed the parasite where the cerebellum meets the spinal cord, where they are typically nested and where the neurochemical pathways intersect with the host's." said T'Pau. She stood, back ramrod straight, as she glanced down at her medical PADD, typing in comments with rapid fingers. She was very self-possessed, as all Vulcans are, unperturbed by the fact that Ryker McClain was now a host to such a vile creature.

I moved up to the stasis chamber and leaned toward it, looking Ryker in the eye. My breasts were full and heavy with milk, my back stiff and aching, my legs nearly shaking with adrenaline. I knew this would be the end of me, one way or another.

"Ryker? Can you hear me?"

"She's here," He responded with a voice so hollow that it induced a shiver from me. "She knows what's happening."

"Can she hear what I say?" I asked urgently.

"Yes."

"I'm Kira Nerys. I'm in command of DS9."

"We know who you are and we know what you represent." His voice drifted out and away, as if he were a fish wavering back and forth on a fishing line.

"Then you must know that none of this is necessary. The Federation would be willing to help you, to help your species find an alternative solution to whatever problems you and your kind face! Please stop attacking Bajor. We don't want to fight with you," I implored.

Ryker's face twisted into a little half grin, an expression that didn't exactly soothe my nerves.

"Too late. We've already won."

I froze, not believing what I'd just heard.

"What?"

"You _will_ leave us this wormhole and withdraw from this space. You _will_ give us the bodies we need or we will destroy everything you hold dear and take everything that we want, including the Tears of the Prophets. Tell the rest of your kind, Kira Nerys."

T'Pau shouted that the parasite had released a toxin in Ryker's bloodstream. I gasped, unable to move as I watched Ryker snap back into conciousness, the panic that spread across his face, and then he crumpled to the ground, unmoving.

"Damn it! _Damn it!"_ I cried, pounding on the glass wall. We knew nothing we hadn't know before besides that the Queen wants the Tears (ancient artifacts housed in a monastery on Bajor), and I was directly responsible for an unnecessary casualty.

My combadge chirped shrilly, I tapped it in response. I could answer a combadge in my sleep if I had to.

"Kira here."

"_Colonel, the Defiant is here. They have just arrived. They know what's happening. Lieutenant Dax, Doctor Bashir and Commander Vaughn are on their way up."_

"Thank the Prophets! That's excellent news." I couldn't restrain myself from my outcry. "Kira out."

"What course of action do you propose we take, Colonel?" T'Pau asked with one elegant eyebrow raised.

"We wait. We consult with the others, form a plan and take action." This seemed to pacify her, but I added under my breath, "This ends tonight."

I moved over to stand by the view hole, watching the stars, where the wormhole supposedly was. Odo was somewhere out there, blissfully ignorant of the chaos here. I envied him as much as I missed him, and I remembered Reon. Now more than ever I wanted Odo to see his son and hold him. I would be happy if Odo merely knew he had a child, that it was apparently possible for Changelings to reproduce with humanoids.

The doors swooshed open suddenly, drawing all of our gazes to the people standing in the doorway.

A weary Ezri, Julian and Commander Vaughn entered sickbay, all of them with apprehension on their faces.

"Welcome back you three, if I may say, it's a miracle that you're here, so much has been going terribly-" I rushed over to envelope Ezri in a tight hug. She returned my embrace and then released me to look me over.

"How are you Nerys? Holding up alright, I hope?" Only Julian and I knew why Ezri sounded especially enigmatic. Ezri might as well have been Betazoid, she was so perceptive.

"I'm doing the best I can considering the circumstances." I returned coolly, hoping not to betray any suspicious emotion, especially since there was a Vulcan in the room.

Julian stepped up beside me, apparently he also wanted to look me over. "You look healthy. I was afraid you would neglect yourself in my absence." He said half-jokingly. I grimaced, "This is no time for humor, Doc. We've got a serious problem."

"By all means, brief us, Colonel." Ezri said, slipping into Lieutenant Dax mode. Julian also put on his professional attitude as one might put on an overcoat.

"Commander Vaughn you need to hear this too. The parasites are everywhere, we can't be sure who is or who isn't contaminated. Just now we communicated with the Queen, but all she revealed was that she was intent on obliterating us all from the universe and taking what she and her kind wanted. She said something about taking the Bajoran Orbs as well, which implies she is planning on visiting Dakeen Monastery on Bajor sometime soon."

"What happened here?" Julian inquired, alarmed by the sight of a dead body in his sickbay.

"That was our volunteer, he channeled the Queen parasite after he offered to have one implanted in his nervous system." I said, my voice barely above a mutter.

Julian turned to me, outraged. "You did what? Without consulting me? This is a serious breach in the Prime Directive! This-"

"-That was the only possible way of obtaining information from the parasite. Doctor, Colonel Kira acted in the best possible manner of interest. She consulted me in your absence, and I oversaw the situation as you would have done. It was not our intention for Ensign McClain to die, rather; the parasite unexpectedly released a toxin into his bloodstream before we were able to remove it."

This assuaged Julian a little. I was mightily shocked that T'Pau jumped in so readily in my defense.

Vaughn asked, "So what are our options? I say our best chances are to stake out the monastery and wait."

I considered it, but in all probability, what were the chances of finding the Queen? She could be hiding anywhere with her soldiers, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike us. Prophets know we would probably end up dead before we knew it.

"It may be a trap," T'Pau added. We turned to look at the previously silent woman. "The Queen knows Bajorans would do anything to save their religious artifacts. Perhaps she is setting a trap by attempting to lure you Colonel to the monastery. It is logical that she would assume you to be as patriotic as any of your fellow countrymen."

Julian nodded. "T'Pau is right. It is very dangerous, and I don't like the idea of it."

"No. We have to. It's the only way of stopping her. We have no other leads, this is our best shot." I decided with a clenched jaw.

My combadge chirped again, startling all of us except T'Pau. I answered it with irritation.

"Kira."

"_Colonel, there's a medical crisis-we've got reports from the Promenade, from engineering decks five, seven, eleven-- two more at the docking ring,"_ It was Nguyen in Ops. His voice was high and strained as he rattled off more locations. Julian's badge began to bleat as well, an emergency warning.

Ro Laren stepped into the room, face alight with color, PADD in hand.

"Colonel, I'm getting reports from all over the station: people are collapsing, at least nine incidents so far and _six_ alien sightings. The parasites are leaving their host bodies."

Julian rushed over to his supply cabinets and grabbed a med kit.

"I need to help these people, Nerys, Ezri, keep in contact via combadge. Stay together." He warned.

"Be safe, Julian." Ezri told him, running up to him to kiss his cheek. He smiled grimly, and after a hesitant pause, he left sickbay with T'Pau in tow.

I turned to Ro and said, "Get Security out there, coordinate with each other to track the parasites, that's our top priority. Also, we need crowd control, get ID verification on everyone, oral or visual. We need to know where our people are."

Ro tapped her badge, "Station-wide address, red alert! Alien presence on board, lockdown status. Describe as small, insectile, extremely dangerous-"

She immediately took off at a run, leaving me with Ezri and Vaughn. I turned to look at Ryker's slumped body, despair coupled with rage filling me from my head to my toes.

My combadge chirped once again, I answered it quickly. "Kira."

It was Nguyen again with a new degree of worry in his tone. "_Colonel, General Lenaris is reporting, he says he's receiving news that a number of skirmishes have broken out on the surface, mostly concentrated in the Dakhur, Musilla and Kendra provinces..."_

"Noted. Thank you, Nguyen." My mind was running a mile a minute at the news that the parasites were causing problems so near to my little Reon in our little house in the Dakhur province.

_"Your welcome, Colonel. Nguyen out."_

I was not about to let these infernal things get the better of us. We would rise up against them, we would not give in submissively. We would show these parasites what they were truly up against.

" I want to go to Dakeen Monastery." I said, checking my toolbelt for all the necessary equipment. I had my phaser, scanner and combadge, as well a dagger hidden in my uniform.

I glanced at both of their faces, finding nothing but loyalty in them I could not, however, ask them to come with me if they were not one hundred and ten percent willing to come. I'd go alone, if that were the case.

"I need to know you two are with me on this. Because if you're not, please don't come with me."

Ezri ground her teeth, a habit she'd retained from when she was Jadzia, and said, "I'm with you, for sure."

Vaughn replied indirectly by tapping his combadge. "Vaughn to O'Brien."

_"Go ahead, Commander."_

"Colonel Kira, Lieutenant Dax and myself are going to beam down to the surface. We request to be beamed to Dakeen Monastery on Bajor."

_"Now? Are-Are you sure Commander?" _I heard the doubt in his voice. He didn't think we'd be successful.

"Yes. We're on our way to the Transporter Room One. We'll meet you there in a few minutes."

_"Alright. O'Brien out."_

I exchanged a worried glance with Ezri, as we followed Commander Vaughn out of Sickbay. There were civilians running amok, along with different personnel of several ranks, children, human, Ferengi, Andorian, and Bajoran. They passed us, completely disregarding us as they moved hurriedly down the corridor. We took the turbolift down to Transporter Room One, and right then I was stopped by none other than Taran'atar, Odo's Jem'Hadar bodyguard. He laid a rough hand on my forearm, I could feel his skin through the sleeve of my uniform.

"Yes, Taran'atar?"

"I request that I go with you. It is Odo's wish that I protect you, Colonel." He said, his naturally gravelly voice was low and morose as usual. I mentally shrugged. The more on our side, the better our chances.

"Alright. We're about to leave for Dakeen Monastery. You have everything you need?"

He nodded, mysterious purple-flecked eyes staring right back at me, unblinking.

"We are searching for the parasite Queen, we need to eliminate her and her soldiers, either in their host's bodies or their natural form."

"I understand, Colonel."

"Thank you, Taran'atar."

I turned and we continued into the transporter room.

Chief O'Brien was standing there at the console, looking as tense as everyone else. "Hello Colonel, Ezri, Commander. And Taran'atar," He was able to say the name without also incorporating any disgust into it. We stepped onto the platform, all four of us, and braced ourselves for an ambush.

"Let me punch in the coordinates..." He murmured, fingers lightly dancing over the keys. "Alright, good luck. God be with you. Three, two, one...Energize-"

The tug behind my navel signaled the separation of our bodies' molecules. We reappeared in front of the monastery, the darkness of night falling hush over us. We all looked around, unable to detect any enemy activity. We were up against an unknown number of enemies, and we didn't even know if they were here at all. I took the lead, Ezri and Vaughn flanking both of my sides as Taran'atar took up the rear. We had our phasers set to kill, positioned readily in our hands.

"Remember, stay alert, and don't hesitate to kill. We only have this one chance, let's make the most of it-" I whispered.

The monastery doors were open of course, wooden doors at least five meters tall with huge, ornate brass handles. The torches along the walls burned brightly, illuminating the temple and making the shadows flicker ominously. The scent of stone hung in the air, filling my nostrils.

"COLONEL!" Someone's voice shouted, it must've been Ezri's, I felt many pairs of hands grabbing hold of me, darkness clouded my vision. Panic made my motions jerky, unsure, I was no longer the agile fighter I was during the Occupation. I heard phasers being fired and bodies falling, whether or not they were the attackers or my own team I did not know.

A leg hooked around mine before I could even assume a fighting stance and I was knocked to the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vaughn battling hand to hand with someone, it looked like a monk, while Taran'atar had just crushed a parasite with his ridiculously large foot. Ezri was in the middle of three assailants (all also monks), she had rapidly fired at them and taken down two, but the last one she missed. It knocked the phaser out of her hands and she was fighting with it hand to hand.

It was terrifying as much as it was humiliating, to be beaten to the ground by possessed Bajoran vedeks, their faces contorted with malicious smirks. They were no longer themselves, the parasites had destroyed them so that they could never be who they used to be. I lashed out with all my strength, flailing my limbs every which way, but the parasites had the strength of grown men and they were easily able to pin me down.

I could see the entrance to the Orb chamber, less than ten feet away from me, and I looked at it miserably. My planet's greatest treasures would be lost to these fucking things, and I failed to save them.

_Prophets forgive me,_ I thought to myself, _Oh Prophets protect Reon and Odo, please tell them I love them- _

I shut my eyes tight, imagining Reon's sweet little face as well as thinking this was to be my end, the end of Bajor and the end of humanoid life as we knew it.

* * *

TBC... 


End file.
